its so me..

sometimes what we see is what we get...so many things that i choose to hide than to show to others. im the kinda person that always choose to be alone, sometimes snooty not because im mad and sometimes hard to understand.. im not impossible to understand maybe im not easy to understood.. i choose to hide my feelings than to show it simply because i dont want to worry you.. i dont want you to worry about me.. for those times that i always say that im fine, every moment i laugh, and everytime that im happy to be with is just a props to forgot all the problems. when i go home the problem make drown and i choose to cry at the side of my room. so hard to accept the fact that im hiding the reality of my life. im afraid to face it..until now im still searching for the solution to my problem, im seeking for a person that willing to understand and the person that i can able to share my feeling..for those people that surrounds me i choose not to tell you my feelings simply because i dont want you to go..and for those captured moment even if it is happy nor sad it always make me smile..reminiscin the past is my favorite past time..sometimes i choose to write than to talk because im afraid maybe you will not understand and you will go and leave me.. ive tried so many relationship and i encountered so many kind of personalities..first i thought that having a relationship with other is so easy but not i need more patient, more trust and of course honesty. most of my relation i always suffering of waiting even if i dont know if he/she coming back..i dont know i never get ti

red of waiting even if so many times that im suffering to do it but still i choose to do it..because it means that i love you so much..i dont know what loves means but when i love the person im willing to accept the things that he do even if it hurts me so much and i always wait for him even if it last a long time. i dont know why some people choose to commit with and break after a few days, they just playing??so, im not...some reasons they try to commit simply because they dont want to hurt me. i cant accept the fact that they want to commit with me just to not hurt me. for me, its better to reject me than to commit with just for "PAKISAMA"...hmmm..